As wedding planners, we work with a wide variety of couples. Each set has their own lives ahead of them and also their own agenda to prepare as they enter into this new life and this new beginning as husband and wife.
For many of our couples, we have the experience of sharing in this journey with them and taking them through these times that are not necessarily just about planning a wedding but also planning trips, rerouting homes and traveling on the regular. Janay and Jamil are the epitome of that and a relationship experience that we feel it is important to highlight for those that are going through similar experiences like theirs. Keep reading for this Q&A from Janay Lampkin, future Mrs. Douglas. Drop a comment if you have any questions for Janay.
Tell us about yourself and your relationship, how long have you been dating?
Jamil and I are “college sweethearts” and have been together for 8 years! We met early on in college and the rest was history. We’ve been together through degrees, career changes, pitfalls and promotions. It really feels like two relationships wrapped up in one. It’s been a wild ride but I wouldn’t change one detail.
How many times have you moved throughout your relationship?
Whew. this is a triggering question 🙂 I think between the two of us we’ve moved once per year throughout our entire relationship. Keep in mind, throughout college we moved within the same city. We didn’t start moving to new states until our careers forced us to. So in the last 5 years we’ve moved once during season and then typically we spend off seasons in AZ — I’ve lost count, okay? 🙂
How many times have you moved since being engaged?
Has moving interfered in wedding planning at all? If so, please explain (setting dates, scheduling important wedding planning meetings, juggling daily routines, etc).
Honestly, not as much as you’d think. At first, it took us some time to get used to ALL of the moving pieces but having BTS has helped us to really put the entire process into perspective. We got engaged literally weeks before camp, so I pretty much knew that there would be minimal planning until season was well underway. We’ve really embraced shared calendars, deadlines, and he’s been the best brainstorming partner. Ladies: let your man weigh in on the different details, it’s actually way more fun that way!
Aside from moving, have you experienced any other life changes during your engagement period (job changes, family happenings, baby planning, new pets)? How have those life changes impacted wedding planning?
I decided to leave the corporate style career and explore my industry as a full-time digital marketing + content consultant so that I could be remote and full time be physically in the same place as my Fiancé. By the time we were engaged, I was pretty accustomed to fully working remotely and was in a pretty good routine. about 2 months into our engagement we found out we were being signed to TN so I essentially hit the pause button on wedding stuff so I could pack up a five-bedroom house and get us settled in a brand new city. But looking back, wedding planning was made so much easier with planners, It was stressful but so doable.
What are the biggest challenges in juggling regular life and wedding planning?
Wedding planning really started to pick up in off-season (Thank God) so we’ve been so blessed to be in the same city as our planners making meetings and communication 10x easier. There is a lot of decision making so it’s been tricky to just hone in on one decision while also continuing to be conscious of budgets. I would say one big challenge that I wasn’t expecting are all of the opinions. If you are a natural “people pleaser” wedding planning will be challenging at first. But eventually, you get really good at focusing on what you and your partner value most and just shrugging your shoulders at all the other noise.
While moving around, have you and your partner had to deal with long-distance?
Very, very brief long-distance (2 months max). Football is definitely a year-round thing so there are definitely a few weeks where he will have to go back for training and I hold down the fort with our dog and coordinate the visits so that can eliminate all of the unnecessary logistics that come with dog parenting. We’ve found our groove so it really doesn’t feel like a chore at this point!
What is the biggest struggle with moving around often, wedding planning, work-life balance and maintaining a healthy relationship? How do you overcome the challenges that come along with the above?
Over communicating, checking in, and communicating some more. There are so many moving pieces and deadlines and task lists. You can probably tell by now that I am VERY type-A. I live for a shared calendar, to-do list, and planner and legit have to remind myself to check in with myself and my fiancé. Checking in on each other is something we’ve always prioritized and I truly believe it’s made the process so much more stress-free.
What are you most looking forward to after the wedding?
The marriage part 🙂 While the wedding planning process has been very exciting and special, we are both so much more excited to just be married and to pour into our union and family.
What advice do you think your partner would give to other grooms in the same situation?
ha! He would probably say there are a ton of deadlines and lots of money spent so plan accordingly and enjoy the ride 🙂
What is the best advice for other brides going through the same or similar changes that you have or are going through?
To remind yourself that It’s a blessing. Whether you are having a giant wedding with a guest list of 300 or a more intimate wedding with less than 100 people, it’s about you and your person. As long as you are both present, happy and celebrating each other and this amazing life change, it will all come together no matter the cross-country move, curveball, or life change!
We hope feel like you’re a part of Janay’s journey. We can’t wait to share more details with you on her venue, decor and so much more. Don’t forget to head over to She Said Yes podcast to listen to Janay’s episode!